As a child, I was trained to *not* think of myself. Always put others first. If I didn't, I was a selfish brat. Never upset your mother. After years of making everyone miserable, Mother, the most selfish person in the house moved out. Bankrupted the family by cleaning out the bank accounts, running up the credit cards to the max furnishing her new apartment, taking all the stuff she wanted from the house (best of the best), and taking out a loan on her car. She did all this before she let Dad know she was leaving him.
Why bring this up? I was talking to my sister, and she commented the Mother is really angry that I don't want her here when the baby is born. My mother wants everything her way and she doesn't care who she has to trample to get her way. I told my sister that Mother's visit when Dinosauria was born was awful and that I hadn't wanted her there then, either, but she came despite my wishes and that visits since then had not been good ones. So, I'm no longer going through life "never upsetting Mother". I will no longer be run over by her, or anyone else, because I'm supposed to acommodate them. When they are doing something that is upsetting to me, I'm going to tell them.